Our first book club meeting was a success – 11 readers showed up and we closed the coffee shop down! Everyone introduced themselves, shared their own experiences with loneliness and what attracted them to the book club – the group formed a terrific bond. We were diverse – single, married, divorced, employed, unemployed, retired – ages 48 to 65. When we wrapped up, I was on Cloud 9 as it was exactly the type of meaningful connection I had hoped for in starting the group. In the end, we were no longer alone in our loneliness – a very comforting feeling.
The group liked our book The Lonely American so much that they voted to continue the discussion in our February meeting. All 12 slots for our next meeting have already been filled - in less than a week! The group as a whole is up to 25 member and counting. I really do believe there are many individuals out there like me searching for meaningful conversations and connections with others. I’m glad to have found a way to connect people in a deep and meaningful way. At the end of the meeting, readers were chatting away with each other as we walked out of the visitor center. Mission accomplished! 
Two other initiatives this week – we had our first meeting of our townhouse development’s Resilience Circle - an informal group to promote acts of neighbor helping neighbor. Nine of us met at my home Wednesday night – many of us meeting each other for the first time. We discussed the wonderful feeling of community here and we discussed specific ways that neighbors can help neighbors – housesitting, babysitting, petsitting, rides to the airport, running errands for someone who is ill, etc.
What drew this group together? An interest in getting to know more neighbors and building a stronger community… We decided to start a closed Facebook group for our communications and we’ll meet again in March. I think “glue” is important – it’s not enough that we all live close together – we need to get to know and befriend each other – i.e., to build mutual trust so we feel comfortable asking for help when we need it.
Lastly, I threw a happy hour for friends – old and new – on Friday – using a Groupon for my favorite happy hour spot. Gotta love those Groupons! There were 6 of us – and unknowingly I reconnected two individuals in the same career field who hadn’t seen each other in a long time. It was neat to see them reconnect!
I think my “now what” is evolving. Rather than focusing my efforts on finding a “partnered happily ever after” (of course I won’t turn it down if Fate deals me that lucky hand), I am wearing a new hat – one of ”meaningful connector.” More than just forging my own meaningful connections, I get just as much joy, if not more, from connecting really terrific individuals with each other – whether it be through facilitating great conversation, hosting a happy hour, or organizing a group for neighborly acts of kindness.
Rather than “single person nearing 50,” I’m now a “meaningful connector.” It’s a much more doable and fun identity than searching for that missing piece that may never show up.
Three sayings come to mind for 2012:
What we focus on, we become.
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.
JTM
